The Government Would Like Your Porn

I woke up this morning to discover that the UK government, boundlessly sick invasive fucks that they are, have decided that the best way to install a ‘Great Firewall’ like China used to get a lot of flak for was to install it under the guise of removing porn – without consulting their citizenry, who, en masse, are some of the most delightfully kinky people in the world.

Britishers will have to apply to their great nanny government and ask to have their pornography unblocked please.

Seriously.

This is a thing that is actually happening.

You couldn’t fucking write this shit.  I just finished reading Alan Moore’s and David Lloyd’s ‘V for Vendetta’ and whilst they were creating a completely totalitarian state post nuclear war with a dear leader deeply in love with the computer that oversees every aspect of civilian lives, even they didn’t manage to imagine a world in which you had to ask for porn.

This is getting fucking ridiculous. Beyond a joke. First they stick their noses into your private life unbidden, then they start rooting around in it because they don’t like what they find there. Then they tell you how you may and may not stimulate  yourself, because why would you settle for controlling a person’s actions when you can get in a great deal deeper and start messing with the way they think?

Just the other day we were waking up to discover that a 29 year old US man had thrown his life away so people could be largely apathetic about the fact that his government (with the assistance of most others, let’s not pretend this is a US issue, because it ain’t) have been storing every single dirty and non-dirty email you and I sent in the last 5 to 10 years for future reading.

Thirty years ago, there was no internet pornography. Dirty magazines were bought and sold, left in the woods for others to find, shared among friends. How fucking ridiculous it is that those magazines might soon represent a new vista of freedom, because unlike electronic communications, which governments have unilaterally declared to be theirs to search through as they please, you can’t hack a piece of paper. You can’t trace its every movement through the meatspace.

The only solace I can take this morning is that, in spite of everything, people are still greater than governments. And freedom, the impulse to explore, the need to feel as if one’s choices are ones own, isn’t just a human right, it’s hardwired into us as a species. We are an animal that started on a nigh empty planet with a few rocks and look around you now. Look what human ingenuity in all its glory and all its folly has created. So wherever there is oppression we will find a new way, and if corporate and government powers insist on crushing the throat of the Internet with spying and censoring, then eventually they will be left with nothing but an empty marketplace. With their insidious creeping and peeking and spying and prying they’re trying to control the uncontrollable and tame that which has never and can never be tamed.

They will ultimately fail, but that doesn’t mean they won’t make our lives fairly miserable in the process.

If you’re a Britisher yourself, here’s a petition that may help.