No More Spanking, No More Caning, Fun To Be Permitted By License Only

Today the UK banned spanking and caning in pornographic movies produced in the UK. They also banned female ejaculation because they don’t believe it’s a real thing and they think it’s just a sneaky way for women to pee everywhere.*

Pornography in Britain is now to consist of nothing but a fully dressed woman in a lace collar with her hair tied back in a chignon quoting episodes of Downton Abbey. Because that, apparently, is what the world has fucking come to.

I’m not pissed off because it’s sexist. (Which it undoubtedly is.) Or because it impinges on freedom. (Which it does.) I’m pissed off because this is yet another assault on our right to be human at a basic level. I’m so, so, so very very tired of the constant barrage of rules and regulations of things that should never have been up for rule or regulation in the first place. No sooner are we born than we are stripped of half the damn things that make us human in the first place.

Sexuality and its accompanying urges and impulses, as non-missionary and not at all for procreation as they may be should be regulated only to the extent that a consenting partner of sufficient age is involved. That’s it. Those are all the rules we need. Anything more than that is just voyeurism on a governmental level.

The fixation of law makers with getting into the collective pants of a nation and telling them where they are and are not allowed to find satisfaction is in itself a fairly skin crawling phenomenon. It’s a violation of the special relationship between a man or a woman, a camera operator, a lighting technician, a webmaster, and oh, yes, the tens of thousands of people who’d quite like to watch some spanking movies without having to check with Westminster first.

(*They confuse women with incontinent cats – which are also not allowed in pornography.)