Written by a mysterious ‘Jenny Ric‘, this is a ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ parody, which is currently in the TOP 10 on the Humor freebie list on Amazon.com.
Fifty Shades of Gravy
When culinary student Vanessa Biscuits attends cooking class with renowned chef Chef Gray, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Vanessa is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate. For so many things. Desperate for Chef Gray, desperate for a semblance of a personality, desperate for a dimension that makes her deeper than the average puddle.
Fortunately for Vanessa she is spared the need to become in any way interesting in her own right. Unable to resist her pedestrian beauty, half wittedness, bland spirit and slavish, dog like devotion Gray admits he wants her on his own terms – covered in gravy.
Fifty Shades of Gravy is a tale that will obsess you, repossess your furniture and stay with you forever no matter how many eviction notices you serve it.
So I’m posting this because it’s, uh, cultural, yes, cultural and uh, improving… (It really is cultural and improving, and it doesn’t hurt that it’s largely topless.)
I first posted this on another site, but that one’s going away and this one is staying and this is some A-Grade, first class erotica if I do say so myself.
A RELUCTANT AFFAIR
By Loki Renard
“You’ll never take me, Jake!”
Shona flipped her long blonde tresses defiantly. They flailed about in the air for a moment then landed across her face. She picked stray hairs out of her mouth whilst glowering at her would be lover.
“Oh, but I will my darling.” Jake sauntered towards her, his brow dark with intent. He was a devastatingly handsome man, as broad as he was tall, with glossy curling eyelashes lining big brown eyes. In his matching denim jacket and jeans he oozed raw sexuality.
Shona knew what he wanted. He wanted her. He wanted to claim her. He wanted to take her. He wanted her high heels over his shoulders, her toiletries on the counter of his bathroom sink. His lust knew no bounds. He wanted her bent across the kitchen counter and he wanted her across the breakfast table, clipping coupons out of the half price mailer. (more…)
So Chapter 18 of Military Discipline, (a series now running on Bethany’s Woodshed) is shaping up to be one long torrid spanking and sex scene. Which is fine, because hey, everyone enjoys a little torrid spanky sex and even though the word ‘romance’ is displayed prominently across 99% of my works, everyone calls it erotica anyway, so what the hell, I’ll roll with it. This is what happens when I write in bed. If I did all my work in bed, everything would have sex scenes in it. Even the non-fiction work I do for corporates, actually, especially the non-fiction work I do for corporates. The sooner we can re-define everything as erotica, the better.
