Book Drop

You’ve probably heard about sub drop before, but have you ever heard about book drop? It’s the sense of loss you feel once a book is done. It’s exacerbated when you finish writing one.

There’s a little period of mourning that seems to come at the end of every story. The only antidote I know is to start another one – or continue working on one that had to sit on the back-burner whilst you finished the one you’re now pining for.

I miss Tank. Which is weird because she’s not real, but I do miss her. I was feeling a little down and trying to work out why and it hit me that was probably it. I also miss Rigel. There’s this bit I just found when re-reading Operation Sadiemeister and it made me all kinds of excited:

It wasn’t until Sadie saw Kate sneaking into her room with a bag of chips because she was clearly too nervous to cook with Rigel there that she snapped. “Okay, that’s enough,” she said determinedly, walking in front of the television, picking up the remote and turning the tv off.

“What on earth are you doing?” Rigel frowned at her.

“I’m finding out what is wrong with you,” Sadie said, gathering her courage.

“There’s nothing wrong with me, give me the remote.” Rigel held out her hand for it expectantly, a dark expression gathering on her features.

“Yes, there is. You’re being mean.”

Rigel’s brows drew into one line. “I will show you mean if you keep this up, girl.”

“No. You won’t. Kate and I worked really hard on that floor and you didn’t say anything nice at all. You just snapped at us, and now Kate is hiding in her room. Is that how she deserves to live? Afraid of you?” Sadie lectured, waggling the remote at Rigel.

“Give me the remote, Sadie,” Rigel repeated herself, her tone quiet with menace.

“No. I’m confiscating it until you get your head out of your ass,” Sadie replied.

For a moment, Rigel looked surprised, and not in a good way. Then she stood up and stepped over to Sadie, closing the distance between them almost completely. For the nth time, Sadie was forced to look up at Rigel, but this time she didn’t need her chin held up to keep eye contact, she glowered up just as much as Rigel glowered down.

“I’m not afraid of you,” she said, setting her jaw firmly.

“I don’t want you to be afraid of me,” Rigel replied.

“Is that why you’re standing over me?” Sadie said.

“No, I’m standing over you because,” Rigel grabbed the remote and twisted it out of Sadie’s hand whilst simultaneously grabbing Sadie with the other and turning her enough to slap her hard across her bottom with the back of the remote. “You made me.”


I’m pretty sure that swooning over your own characters is probably a perverse form of masturbation, but I have been both blessed and cursed by a terrible memory so when I read these things, it’s like I’m reading them somewhat for the first time. I read Rebel Priestess tonight too and got all swoony over Constance. It should probably be somewhat concerning that the only tops I can imagine submitting to are ones I made up in my head, but there you have it.

It’s weird how attached one can get to fictional characters. There’s a strange vulnerability you get when you get attached to someone else’s characters. You want more, but you’re at the mercy of the author – who invariably then goes and writes about a talking teapot or something you have no interest in, so they’re no good to you at all. Damn authors. Something should be done about them.



Hahahaha. I think it is very awesome that you are only willing to submit to your made up tops. Also, paraphrasing another commenter in your previous post, it is very you.


Thanks DD! I don’t know if it is awesome, I do know that it saves a lot of people a lot of trouble ;)


I’ll make that an “it seems very you”, which is more prudent. And that part from Operation sadiemeister was yum indeed.


Loki I love your description. I always feel a sense of loss at the end of a good book or a good story. I never got attached enough to feel that for any of my characters which probably tells me a lot about my writing and why I don’t bother anymore!

I only go back to those writers that give me that feeling and you and Alyx are of course amongst my Top spanking writers. I have to say that Sparrow’s first offering also promises to leave me in that ‘I want more’ state.

Thank you to all those writers out there that feed our imaginations and let us know we are not alone with our desire for DD or whatever take on spanking we each have. You guys are more important than you know.


I have a theory, Pixie, and that theory is that people read and write because there’s a yearning for a certain type of stimuli that’s missing. Now sometimes – actually, a lot of the time, it’s fine for something to be missing. We can’t all be Superman or the Incredible Hulk or the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo or flying ponies. I see my fiction as filling the same sort of holes that all fiction fills – or perhaps more to the point, to tickling the same sort of fancies that other fiction tickles too, just in a spanky way.

But I reckon if you’re in a d/s relationship for real, the need to write about it probably diminishes – or at the very least, the energies that would have gone into writing about it are channeled elsewhere. Your old stories were great, but it is okay if you don’t feel the need to pen them anymore. Maybe the desire will return, maybe it won’t. You never know :)


In a spanky way yet not only in a spanky way.
And yeah, Pixie, I enjoyed your stories a lot too. But if The Loki is right and you feel less holey, that is a good thing indeed.
(And it is a good thing it is the weekend already. I might have to imagine getting smacked over bedtimes and see if that works. Testing The Holey Doctrine right there.)


Thanks Loki, I think you are right. I am very glad you and others can keep those fantastic stories coming. However, if your writing is driven by holes I send you all good vibes and wishes that one day you get to fill them . :)


Ditto on “a yearning for a certain type of stimuli that’s missing” and I would add that it’s for self-comforting and release and regulation of emotions. Writing stories calms me down.


I wouldn’t have ‘got’ this two weeks ago.
I think I have already made it clear how appreciative I’d be of more Tank, and more Rigel.

Let me also add how much I miss Constance, … and Rael… and Kai…
and Cody… and Layne… and Rael… and Mari… and the Machiavellian Celeste… and Rogue… and Oksana…

…must stop… getting the vapors… !


Oh dear. I can’t remember who two of those names are. I did mention the memory thing, right? :)

And yes, the vapors must be contained, lest ye vaporize entirely!


I’d bet the two you forgot are from The Sisterhood… loved that one!


Oh yes! I completely derailed myself on that one. Started playing minecraft instead, as I recall.


Huh. There’s someone called Grizelda in this too. Fancy that.


I quite liked Grizelda. I seem to remember I began hating her, then I thought she wasn’t that that bad.
Oh, those crazy kinky nuns! Hot nuns too! And eccentric, horny, mind-controlly…Sexy stuff!!
And I was not your target demographic with that one, Loki. I thought I couldn’t read past the word “nun”, but oh, I did, I did.

P.S. I just borrowed the word “drop” btw. I know it’s not yours (or is it?) but it came to me because I read it here, so there. lol.


There ain’t no nuns in that book. There are Sisters and Mistresses and Initiates and one Superior, but the word nun is never mentioned. You must be imagining that one :)


I realized that as soon as I posted. The word nun is not mentioned, I just thought about the Sisters, Misstresses and Initiates as “hot nuns”.
Oh crap, now I really feel kinky in a very fucked up way.


I know exactly what you’re talking about, Loki. I feel that sense of almost-loss when I finish a book I love, but mostly it’s a good feeling of satisfaction too.

I’ve never written a book (well, unpublished novel, but I don’t think that counts), but have completed several stories, and I often have a sense of melancholy afterwards. Less so with the kink I write than with vanilla stories, I wonder why that is? Maybe because I know I’ll revisit with the kinky characters again soon! *bg*

Another author I know referred to the phenomenon/feeling as the “sad after sex” feeling, and I think that describes it pretty well too. :)


So Alyx, where are those vanilla stories at? Is there a link to them? Or maybe they are private? It’ll be interesting to read them (even though not kinky :)